1B. Chapter 3 (Hooks) In Being a Boy the author successfully communicates to the reader the importance of providing a gender bias free environment for children to grow into. Having lived with adults most of my life and without much interaction with children I find myself disoriented about this topic. However, I based on what I’ve observed through my husband’s niece and nephew who are still very young I have noticed that the boy always gets away with going out unsupervised to his friend’s home, being very loud and shouting at his parents but no t with crying without being called a woman. While as a baby my husban’s nephew was well cared for and nurtured, as he got elder his parents seem to have forgotten that he still needs that love, understanding, and once in a while punishments to prevent him from behaving like a reckless child. In other words, if this child is allowed to get away with being a menace while the girl is punished because she is not behaving like a proper lady then he is going to grow up thinking that for man any behavior different from a woman is socially acceptable. He is going to grow up thinking that woman is to behave lady like and to remain as compliant to his every demand. He is going to hide his emotions and most likely as an adult teach his children to be the same way he was taught to be all because his parents have not set boundaries for him to prevent him to acting like chauvinistic man and encouraged him to get in touch with his self being and emotions.
1B. Chapter 3 In Dude You’re a Fag the author is conveys to the reader the abundance of deceitful information that is available to the public about gays which is often used by children or adolescents to belittle or harass their peers for behaving “unmanly” or for play. Even though, in middle school nor high school do I recall having heard an acquaintance referred to another peer as “fag” or “queer” I once in a while find my brother using those terms towards his friends. The few times that I’ve heard him using those words I have asked him to refrain from using them but it seems that they have become part of his and his friends vocabulary. How so? Well, they used them pretty much anytime one of them behaves effeminize or say a sentimental word like “I love you” or “I miss you”. In other words, fag for him and his teen friends have become a substitute for the word gay. And although, I find the usage of this word offensive it seems that most people I know are okay with its usage as it has become somewhat of mainstream among teens.
1B. In becoming Mr. Cougar the author conveys to the reader that a man who differs from the socially acceptable notions about how a man should behave and look by acting weak and being effeminize will never be able to compete for the same privileges as a masculine man. In other words, if a man shows any signs of weaknesses whether it be physically or mentally he will never be accepted into a chauvinistic society that places emphasizes on a well built body and manly attitude towards woman and peers. For instance, when I used to attend high school I noticed during break or lunch that students would separate into groups rather than mingle together. Upon carefully studying these groups I also noticed that the nerds would often be by themselves sitting in inhabited places or at the back of classes or absent from school activities and dances. The jocks were cocky, loud, dating the prettiest or most popular, and present at every event. The nerds probably kept to themselves because they did not look the part expected by society like the two characters in the essay. They were either too skinny or too fat and most wore glasses and clothes so old fashioned that made them at target for everyone else to make fun of. The jocks on the other hand were physically fit and confident or full of themselves which attracted many pretty girls. And like the story in real life for the nerds to get what the jocks have is for them to adhered by the social norms imposed on man which restricts them from acting effeminate.
1B. In the readings by Pascoe(Ch.1), the socially accepted and establish notion that state men as the “breadwinners” and women as the “caretakers” has being the norm for decades dating back to the twentieth century. These sexist ideas that many seize to ignore are still predominant within society and have placed individuals in a very constricted box that one can either tried fit into or step out. While doing the guarantees acceptance, the later give one the freedom to express their disapproval of gender bias norms in which the woman will never be at the level of the man. For example in my case I am married and my marriage is far from being traditional or “normal”. I got married not willing to give up my education and so did my husband. This meant living apart from each other for months and thus we never completely fulfilled the traditional roles of a husband or a wife. Our families have had a hard time understanding our marriage and still don’t understand it. We chose a life style that suits us I took the role of the provider while he finishes school. Even thought I am in school myself I feel that I have broken the norms of marriage and the gender roles and it feels good really good.
2B. In “Dude, You are a Fag” the author brings up gender norms that refer to men as the “breadwinner”. In other words, society expects man to be the financial caretaker of the family. He is supposed to provide financial stability in the household and while the woman is expected to care for the children and keep the household clean and the food ready. However, this is not always the case especially during this tough economy in which both man and woman are working alongside each other to keep the household financially afloat. For example, in my household I’m the financial caretaker. I work part time and go to school while my husband studies abroad. Unlike many couples in which if the man financially cares for his family my position within my family as the main caretaker this would be an issue, I personally have no problem taking the role of the provider. However, I’m aware that by, exchanging roles my husband feels dimasculine. As expected this sentiment of let down is the result of being brought up in traditional households in which the father is the main or only provider. And although, this often represents a problem for our parents and relatives, over the years they have become less judgmental of our decision to live in this form because they know that we are serious about our marriage and that by not following norms does not make it any less of a marriage.
