1b. In The Act Like a Man Box, adapted from Men’s Work and Boys Will Be Men, by Paul Kivel, the reader is made aware of the unjust set of expectations imposed on man by a predominantly sexist society. One such example is that men, unlike women, from the moment they are born until adulthood are expected to fight off their emotions, to get a well-off job, and to provide for their family. From a young age a set of ideas are imposed over generations of men who, after decades of being inculcated with stereotypes about how to act like a man, are likely to believe their imposed gender roles and act upon them. For example, at an early age my little brother was treated differently, especially when it came to showing any emotion. He was not allowed to cry or show any sign of weakness, and if he did he was ridiculed and called names.
1a. In “Patriarchy, The system: An it, Not a He, a Them, or an Us,” by Johnson, the reader is made aware of the patriarchal culture that we live in. This includes ideas of the nature of things, men and women, manhood and masculinity, and womanhood and femininity. It includes expectations of men and women imposed by society. It defines how opposite men and women are from each other by setting up gender norms, the expectations of male aggression, competition, and dominance, and female caring, cooperation, and subordination. For example, women are expected to be the caretakers, and men are expected to be the breadwinners. This to me was very interesting, especially because nowadays there are many professional women still fighting against gender expectations. For example, Kate Gosselin was criticized for spending more time with her children because of her work, but her ex-husband was never criticized for not spending anytime with his children. While he was in the public spotlight, no reporter ever questioned his fatherhood, but instead all the media was interested in knowing was who he was dating.
1b. In The Will to Change, by Hooks, on pages 5 and 6, the author explains how men’s pain goes unnoticed in society. She compares it to how hard it is for men to express their emotions in a relationship. According to hooks, the unhappiness of men in relationships or the pain of a break up is often unnoticed by society because our patriarchal culture does not care about male unhappiness. This is a common problem in relationships; many women would like their partner to be more open about what they are feeling. However, once a man is willing to talk about his feelings to his partner, many times they find themselves in a position where they a not being listened to. I seen this with my female friends who often complain of their partners’ inability to talk about what is bothering them; however, once they finally decide to speak up about what is bothering them, in many cases my friends don’t feel comfortable with listening to their feelings.
1a. In chapter 2 The Will to Change, Hooks explains the word “patriarchy” as political and social systems that render women inferior to men. In these types of systems, men are taught that they have the right to dominate over the weak (women) psychologically or through violence. She explains how these roles were imposed on her and her brother from an early age, and how our patriarchal culture determines how men and women are supposed to behave. According to the author, people are also taught “normal” gender roles through education and religion. She brought up an interesting point that women are always being taught to follow orders by their fathers, husbands, and other males, and if a woman goes against these rules she is considered hysterical. This is very outrageous because this is still something that is happening in our society as women are pressured to refrain from speaking up about the injustices that go on in our patriarchal culture.
2a. In chapter 2, The Will to Change, Hooks describes how our American patriarchal culture had a huge impact on her life. Hooks explains how she and her brother, from an early age, were taught their gender roles in society by their parents. She was taught that as a girl she could talk about her feelings and how her brother was taught to toughen up and to hide his emotions. As I read this chapter I could not stop thinking about how much of an impact this patriarchal society had on me. For example, when I got married I was told that in order for me to be a good wife I had to be obedient, nurturing, supportive, and take care of my body image. The rational was that if I did all of these things my husband would be happy and he would never leave me. As for my husband, he was expected to be a provider, protector, dominant, and aggressive. However, my marriage is far from being traditional as we have no gender roles in our marriage. I don’t expect him to be the provider and he doesn’t expect me to be the homemaker. We both believe that in order for us to function we must respect each other as individuals, without imposing gender norms that we don’t believe in.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Blog 6
1c. In Queer Masculinities of a Straight Men, Heasley explained the notions of masculinity, queer, gender and hetero-normative. In this paper there is part that is a little confusing to me. The writer said that he constantly gets accused of being gay even though he is married and has children. However, he goes on to say that he has sexual desires toward men and that he kisses men on the mouth, hugs them and dances with them. This is a little confusing to me because to me it seems a little contradictory. I understand the fact that you don’t have to be specifically gay or straight, but people can choose to be both. I just don’t I agree that if you are involved in a relationship that you should be kissing people other than your partner on the mouth.
1a. Bear Bodies Bear Masculinity, by Peter Hennen, is a study that examines the resistance and conformity in hegemonic masculinity among Bears, a subculture within the gay male community. Men who identify themselves as Bears are drawn to this community in part because they perceive themselves to be larger and hairier than the stereotypical gay ideal. Bears seek to naturalize and normalize gay masculinity by striving toward “regular guy” status. While Bear culture encodes certain misogynistic tendencies, it also presents a challenge to some of the fundamental systems of belief of hegemonic masculinity. This study was quite confusing to me because I did not really understand what was it they wanted to prove. If they were already accepted in the gay community, why did they want to be treated more masculine?
1b.Sissyphobia and Everything After, by Tim Bergling, is a study that the author did in order to find out more about effeminate men. This was of particular interest to him since his son was gay and he wanted to understand his son better. So he did the study to get answers about why gay men act so effeminate, but in the end found out that there were no right answers for it. As I read this study I could not stop thinking of my best friend. He is gay and does not like to be thought of as effeminate. He does not like to show he is gay, but wants to be treated as a heterosexual man.
2b. In Sissyphobia and Everything After, Bergling brought up an interesting point that as soon as we know that someone is gay we assume they are going to behave like women. Somehow this makes gay men less manly in our minds. My friend who is gay does not like to be seen as effeminate, because to him being gay does not mean to act more like a women. He knows that he is still a man, with the exception that he has a sexual desire towards other men. I also believe that he is more hesitant about behaving effeminate because of the fact that he has not told his family about his homosexuality. He is still trying to disguise his homosexuality out of fear of not being accepted by his family and society.
1a. Bear Bodies Bear Masculinity, by Peter Hennen, is a study that examines the resistance and conformity in hegemonic masculinity among Bears, a subculture within the gay male community. Men who identify themselves as Bears are drawn to this community in part because they perceive themselves to be larger and hairier than the stereotypical gay ideal. Bears seek to naturalize and normalize gay masculinity by striving toward “regular guy” status. While Bear culture encodes certain misogynistic tendencies, it also presents a challenge to some of the fundamental systems of belief of hegemonic masculinity. This study was quite confusing to me because I did not really understand what was it they wanted to prove. If they were already accepted in the gay community, why did they want to be treated more masculine?
1b.Sissyphobia and Everything After, by Tim Bergling, is a study that the author did in order to find out more about effeminate men. This was of particular interest to him since his son was gay and he wanted to understand his son better. So he did the study to get answers about why gay men act so effeminate, but in the end found out that there were no right answers for it. As I read this study I could not stop thinking of my best friend. He is gay and does not like to be thought of as effeminate. He does not like to show he is gay, but wants to be treated as a heterosexual man.
2b. In Sissyphobia and Everything After, Bergling brought up an interesting point that as soon as we know that someone is gay we assume they are going to behave like women. Somehow this makes gay men less manly in our minds. My friend who is gay does not like to be seen as effeminate, because to him being gay does not mean to act more like a women. He knows that he is still a man, with the exception that he has a sexual desire towards other men. I also believe that he is more hesitant about behaving effeminate because of the fact that he has not told his family about his homosexuality. He is still trying to disguise his homosexuality out of fear of not being accepted by his family and society.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
blog 5
1a. In chapter 7, titled “feminist manhood,” Hooks explains that men see feminists as male bashers. Many men feel threatened by feminists because they feel that strong women threaten their manhood. This is far from the truth; on the contrary, what many feminists want is to be treated with the same respect and equality that any man would expect for himself. However, it is easy for males to criticize the feminist movement because of the difficulty men with respect to identifying with the feminist agenda. Although they may be able to sympathize, men will never really understand what women want from themselves. Males, specifically heterosexual White males, have never had to fight for their rights since they are the ones that set the standard of what rights are to be afforded and to whom. Women on the other hand have had to fight for their equality and the right to pursuit happiness. I believe that the feminist movement’s goal to gain equality is still relevant today as many women are still paid less than men and are frequently the victims of domestic and sexual abuse. If more men actually try to be part of the solution instead of continuing to be part of the problem, maybe then more women would stop demanding what men take for granted.
1a. In "Loving Men (chapter 11)," Hooks claims that women want men to be more in touch with their emotions. Men that are more conscious of their feelings towards women tend to be better partners. I think this has a lot to do with personality, upbringing, and family structure. Perhaps the problem of not having contact with one’s own emotions could be caused, among other things, by the lack of a father figure in the home. One thing I noticed when I used to work with troubled youth was that most of the young boys I work with lack a father figure. Many of these boys have no male role models to teach them how to talk and treat women, nor how to define and express their emotions. Ironically, many of these boys were raise by women, and even though they respected their mothers, they didn’t always respect other women.
1a. In chapter 13, titled “more than a few good men,” Katz explains that not all men justify domestic violence and sexual abuse against women. He acknowledges that there are men that also seek the wellbeing of women. Some men do so through organizations which protect women’s rights around the world. These organizations provide assistance for sexual abuse and battered women that have experienced the misfortune of being in a relationship with an aggressive male. These organizations are trying to reverse the damage that some men have caused. A quote that I found very interesting by Nelson Mandela reads “from today those who inflict violence on others will know they are being isolated and cannot count on other men to protect them.” This quote is very interesting because it puts the responsibility squarely on men to not protect those who inflict violence on women. If more men took responsibility for the actions of their male counterparts, I believe that there would be less violence committed against women.
1b. In “A new vision to masculinity,” Cooper defines masculinity as competitive, thought, and aggressive. He explains that many men have to prove their manliness to society by not showing weakness, incompetence, or passiveness. He makes an interesting point that society encourages men to be violent by harassing them with homophobic remarks, and the only way for them to prove their masculinity is by fighting or hurting another person. I agree with Cooper’s assessment because I have seen this type of behavior in a family friend. Every time he gathers with his friends he has to prove how masculine he is. He begins by ridiculing the men around him that are easy to pick on by calling them “fags” as a way to establish a “manly” position among them
2a. In chapter 11, which the author titled “loving men,” Hooks explains how women want men to be “emotionally aware.” Just by reading this chapter I could not stop thinking about my sister’s husband and his upbringing, which made him a bit aggressive. He was raised in a town where violence was prevalent, and he also lacked positive male guidance from since his father was never home. He opted for the guidance of older, troubled men in his neighborhood, which induced a negative impact on his ability to openly express his emotions. Early in their marriage when they had problems, he would not express what was bothering him. At other times, he became so enraged that it was impossible to find middle ground with him. Luckily, they sought help and improved the quality of their relationship and found solutions to his behavioral patterns.
1a. In "Loving Men (chapter 11)," Hooks claims that women want men to be more in touch with their emotions. Men that are more conscious of their feelings towards women tend to be better partners. I think this has a lot to do with personality, upbringing, and family structure. Perhaps the problem of not having contact with one’s own emotions could be caused, among other things, by the lack of a father figure in the home. One thing I noticed when I used to work with troubled youth was that most of the young boys I work with lack a father figure. Many of these boys have no male role models to teach them how to talk and treat women, nor how to define and express their emotions. Ironically, many of these boys were raise by women, and even though they respected their mothers, they didn’t always respect other women.
1a. In chapter 13, titled “more than a few good men,” Katz explains that not all men justify domestic violence and sexual abuse against women. He acknowledges that there are men that also seek the wellbeing of women. Some men do so through organizations which protect women’s rights around the world. These organizations provide assistance for sexual abuse and battered women that have experienced the misfortune of being in a relationship with an aggressive male. These organizations are trying to reverse the damage that some men have caused. A quote that I found very interesting by Nelson Mandela reads “from today those who inflict violence on others will know they are being isolated and cannot count on other men to protect them.” This quote is very interesting because it puts the responsibility squarely on men to not protect those who inflict violence on women. If more men took responsibility for the actions of their male counterparts, I believe that there would be less violence committed against women.
1b. In “A new vision to masculinity,” Cooper defines masculinity as competitive, thought, and aggressive. He explains that many men have to prove their manliness to society by not showing weakness, incompetence, or passiveness. He makes an interesting point that society encourages men to be violent by harassing them with homophobic remarks, and the only way for them to prove their masculinity is by fighting or hurting another person. I agree with Cooper’s assessment because I have seen this type of behavior in a family friend. Every time he gathers with his friends he has to prove how masculine he is. He begins by ridiculing the men around him that are easy to pick on by calling them “fags” as a way to establish a “manly” position among them
2a. In chapter 11, which the author titled “loving men,” Hooks explains how women want men to be “emotionally aware.” Just by reading this chapter I could not stop thinking about my sister’s husband and his upbringing, which made him a bit aggressive. He was raised in a town where violence was prevalent, and he also lacked positive male guidance from since his father was never home. He opted for the guidance of older, troubled men in his neighborhood, which induced a negative impact on his ability to openly express his emotions. Early in their marriage when they had problems, he would not express what was bothering him. At other times, he became so enraged that it was impossible to find middle ground with him. Luckily, they sought help and improved the quality of their relationship and found solutions to his behavioral patterns.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Blog 1
1A. “Gender identity—the sense of self—is stronger than the body, and will find a way to manifest itself” () Walking along a sidewalk during rush hour one is likely to come across various individuals whom from mere appearance may appear “normal” or heterosexuals even though some probably have different sexual preferences that one will only become aware of by getting to know that person. For example, while in high school I befriended a guy who behaved like a heterosexual person. He was very masculine and dated girls. As I got to know him better and the years passed I noticed that he liked being around girls mostly and do their hair and make-up. While I didn’t think much about it at that time, many times I found myself wondering if he was gay or straight only to find out years later that he was gay. He hasn’t come out of the closet yet but on day he said to me while talking about his family knowledge of his sexual preference, “I think is quite obvious through my actions that I’m gay, but is they don’t ask I won’t tell them and if they ask I’ll be honest.” Clearly, my friend’s sense of self was stronger than his actions because even though he attempted to act like a straight man throughout his adolescence, his true self always exposed his true sexual orientation.
1B. “In western culture men predominate in positions of power and authority. And as mention on the book these is reinforce trough culture, media, and religions” (Lorber). A perfect example is man’s predominance in the work place. For instance, while working at a middle school I was partnered with a middle aged man to help troubled students stay in school and even thought I had very little experience compare to him filling out paperwork and carrying on meetings with the students, I was able to learn fast and perform equally if not better than my partner. Threaten by my achievements and the students liking for me, he became bossy and arrogant and credited the success of the program to himself even though this was far from being the case. I was practically at the school every day, did most of the paperwork, and worked with most of the students. Yet, my labor went unnoticed by him because of my age, gender, and ethnicity. I was the youngest Latina female in that school that was running a program practically on my own. This did not set well with my partner to the extent that he approached my supervisor with lies in an attempt to get me fired. Not someone to walk with “my tail under my feet” I defended myself from my partner’s accusations and resigned. I was a young woman fighting against two men, my partner and boss, so my chances of convincing the later of my innocence was slim due to my low placed in the latter of power and authority.
1B. “Gender is a system of symbols and meaning-and the rules, privileges, and punishments pertaining to their use-for power and sexuality,” (Wilchins).A good example of this is Mexican culture where men and women are treated differently. Women roles are to be home and take care of the family’s needs. The male is the provider of the home he only brings the money. And gay man don’t exist they are harassed and beaten by other males because they represent a threat to society. Mexican culture is highly influence by Catholic Religion there is no room for undefined gender. You are either a man or a women and that’s it. -Unfinished
1B. “In western culture men predominate in positions of power and authority. And as mention on the book these is reinforce trough culture, media, and religions” (Lorber). A perfect example is man’s predominance in the work place. For instance, while working at a middle school I was partnered with a middle aged man to help troubled students stay in school and even thought I had very little experience compare to him filling out paperwork and carrying on meetings with the students, I was able to learn fast and perform equally if not better than my partner. Threaten by my achievements and the students liking for me, he became bossy and arrogant and credited the success of the program to himself even though this was far from being the case. I was practically at the school every day, did most of the paperwork, and worked with most of the students. Yet, my labor went unnoticed by him because of my age, gender, and ethnicity. I was the youngest Latina female in that school that was running a program practically on my own. This did not set well with my partner to the extent that he approached my supervisor with lies in an attempt to get me fired. Not someone to walk with “my tail under my feet” I defended myself from my partner’s accusations and resigned. I was a young woman fighting against two men, my partner and boss, so my chances of convincing the later of my innocence was slim due to my low placed in the latter of power and authority.
1B. “Gender is a system of symbols and meaning-and the rules, privileges, and punishments pertaining to their use-for power and sexuality,” (Wilchins).A good example of this is Mexican culture where men and women are treated differently. Women roles are to be home and take care of the family’s needs. The male is the provider of the home he only brings the money. And gay man don’t exist they are harassed and beaten by other males because they represent a threat to society. Mexican culture is highly influence by Catholic Religion there is no room for undefined gender. You are either a man or a women and that’s it. -Unfinished
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Blog 4
1a. Violence Against Women Is a Man’s Issue, Katz Chapter I.
An interesting aspect about chapter 1 is its approach to rape. Every time we hear about rape, the first image that comes to mind is a victimized women; what kind of sick person can do this to a human being? Many studies show that most rapes are usually committed by men, why is this? In this chapter Katz wants not only to focus on the women, but also on the men and their motives for doing it. Whatever the answer may be, whether it’s psychological or not, the point being is that such action can strongly impact a woman’s life, not only her life, but everyone around her, especially male figures.
1b. Facing Facts, Katz Chapter 2
In this Chapter, Katz raises the question, why do men have such a hard time facing the truth? Many men justify what they do, even when knowing it’s morally wrong. I think a perfect example of this could be cheating, many men don’t see anything wrong with cheating, unless they are being confronted by their partner. Why would they when society accepts it? Many men would justify their cheating as a disorder; a good example of this is Tiger Woods. He justified the cheating by associating it with a sexual disorder in order to avoid responsibility for his actions. Apparently cheating is a sexual disorder now. Why do we as a society accept this terminology?
1b. Taking it Personally, Katz Chapter 3
In this chapter, we see different perspectives on violence. A perfect example is what is going on in San Diego right now with regard to the two young girls that were raped and murdered recently. It’s hard to imagine that this could have happened in our own backyard. This opened my eyes to the reality that exists here in San Diego about all the rapists and pedophiles that live in our neighborhoods. The truth of the matter is domestic violence and rape are still very prevalent in our society today, leaving women with very little room to trust men.
1a. Male Bashing? Katz Chapter 5
In this chapter Katz uses the word “feminazi,” which is a term used to identify feminist women as angry and violent. This term was created by a right wing radio host that tried to convince conservative people that feminist women are trying to destroy American society. It’s sickening to see that even today women are bashed when standing up for their rights of freedom of choice and equality. After all the progress that women have made they still face many obstacles because men don’t support their progress. If men could only see that women are not trying to be men, but are seeking the same level of respect as men, there would perhaps be less controversy.
2a. Violence Against Women Is a Man’s Issue, Katz Chapter I.
I feel that this chapter applies to the reality that we are facing today in San Diego. The fact that two girls were raped and murdered so close to my home is frightening. Moreover, the suspect in the crime violated his parole and was later allowed to be free without any punishment is disheartening. It is unbelievable to me that this issue wasn’t address when it should have been. There needs to be something done to protect young women from these predators. I believe there should be stricter laws that govern sex offenders to make sure that they are complying with societal norms. We can’t just let people like this terrorize our friends, sisters, mother s, daughters, girlfriends, and wives. We need society to acknowledge that what is happening today is not only a women’s issue, but that it affects every one of us, including men.
An interesting aspect about chapter 1 is its approach to rape. Every time we hear about rape, the first image that comes to mind is a victimized women; what kind of sick person can do this to a human being? Many studies show that most rapes are usually committed by men, why is this? In this chapter Katz wants not only to focus on the women, but also on the men and their motives for doing it. Whatever the answer may be, whether it’s psychological or not, the point being is that such action can strongly impact a woman’s life, not only her life, but everyone around her, especially male figures.
1b. Facing Facts, Katz Chapter 2
In this Chapter, Katz raises the question, why do men have such a hard time facing the truth? Many men justify what they do, even when knowing it’s morally wrong. I think a perfect example of this could be cheating, many men don’t see anything wrong with cheating, unless they are being confronted by their partner. Why would they when society accepts it? Many men would justify their cheating as a disorder; a good example of this is Tiger Woods. He justified the cheating by associating it with a sexual disorder in order to avoid responsibility for his actions. Apparently cheating is a sexual disorder now. Why do we as a society accept this terminology?
1b. Taking it Personally, Katz Chapter 3
In this chapter, we see different perspectives on violence. A perfect example is what is going on in San Diego right now with regard to the two young girls that were raped and murdered recently. It’s hard to imagine that this could have happened in our own backyard. This opened my eyes to the reality that exists here in San Diego about all the rapists and pedophiles that live in our neighborhoods. The truth of the matter is domestic violence and rape are still very prevalent in our society today, leaving women with very little room to trust men.
1a. Male Bashing? Katz Chapter 5
In this chapter Katz uses the word “feminazi,” which is a term used to identify feminist women as angry and violent. This term was created by a right wing radio host that tried to convince conservative people that feminist women are trying to destroy American society. It’s sickening to see that even today women are bashed when standing up for their rights of freedom of choice and equality. After all the progress that women have made they still face many obstacles because men don’t support their progress. If men could only see that women are not trying to be men, but are seeking the same level of respect as men, there would perhaps be less controversy.
2a. Violence Against Women Is a Man’s Issue, Katz Chapter I.
I feel that this chapter applies to the reality that we are facing today in San Diego. The fact that two girls were raped and murdered so close to my home is frightening. Moreover, the suspect in the crime violated his parole and was later allowed to be free without any punishment is disheartening. It is unbelievable to me that this issue wasn’t address when it should have been. There needs to be something done to protect young women from these predators. I believe there should be stricter laws that govern sex offenders to make sure that they are complying with societal norms. We can’t just let people like this terrorize our friends, sisters, mother s, daughters, girlfriends, and wives. We need society to acknowledge that what is happening today is not only a women’s issue, but that it affects every one of us, including men.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Blog 3
1B. Chapter 3 (Hooks) In Being a Boy the author successfully communicates to the reader the importance of providing a gender bias free environment for children to grow into. Having lived with adults most of my life and without much interaction with children I find myself disoriented about this topic. However, I based on what I’ve observed through my husband’s niece and nephew who are still very young I have noticed that the boy always gets away with going out unsupervised to his friend’s home, being very loud and shouting at his parents but no t with crying without being called a woman. While as a baby my husban’s nephew was well cared for and nurtured, as he got elder his parents seem to have forgotten that he still needs that love, understanding, and once in a while punishments to prevent him from behaving like a reckless child. In other words, if this child is allowed to get away with being a menace while the girl is punished because she is not behaving like a proper lady then he is going to grow up thinking that for man any behavior different from a woman is socially acceptable. He is going to grow up thinking that woman is to behave lady like and to remain as compliant to his every demand. He is going to hide his emotions and most likely as an adult teach his children to be the same way he was taught to be all because his parents have not set boundaries for him to prevent him to acting like chauvinistic man and encouraged him to get in touch with his self being and emotions.
1B. Chapter 3 In Dude You’re a Fag the author is conveys to the reader the abundance of deceitful information that is available to the public about gays which is often used by children or adolescents to belittle or harass their peers for behaving “unmanly” or for play. Even though, in middle school nor high school do I recall having heard an acquaintance referred to another peer as “fag” or “queer” I once in a while find my brother using those terms towards his friends. The few times that I’ve heard him using those words I have asked him to refrain from using them but it seems that they have become part of his and his friends vocabulary. How so? Well, they used them pretty much anytime one of them behaves effeminize or say a sentimental word like “I love you” or “I miss you”. In other words, fag for him and his teen friends have become a substitute for the word gay. And although, I find the usage of this word offensive it seems that most people I know are okay with its usage as it has become somewhat of mainstream among teens.
1B. In becoming Mr. Cougar the author conveys to the reader that a man who differs from the socially acceptable notions about how a man should behave and look by acting weak and being effeminize will never be able to compete for the same privileges as a masculine man. In other words, if a man shows any signs of weaknesses whether it be physically or mentally he will never be accepted into a chauvinistic society that places emphasizes on a well built body and manly attitude towards woman and peers. For instance, when I used to attend high school I noticed during break or lunch that students would separate into groups rather than mingle together. Upon carefully studying these groups I also noticed that the nerds would often be by themselves sitting in inhabited places or at the back of classes or absent from school activities and dances. The jocks were cocky, loud, dating the prettiest or most popular, and present at every event. The nerds probably kept to themselves because they did not look the part expected by society like the two characters in the essay. They were either too skinny or too fat and most wore glasses and clothes so old fashioned that made them at target for everyone else to make fun of. The jocks on the other hand were physically fit and confident or full of themselves which attracted many pretty girls. And like the story in real life for the nerds to get what the jocks have is for them to adhered by the social norms imposed on man which restricts them from acting effeminate.
1B. In the readings by Pascoe(Ch.1), the socially accepted and establish notion that state men as the “breadwinners” and women as the “caretakers” has being the norm for decades dating back to the twentieth century. These sexist ideas that many seize to ignore are still predominant within society and have placed individuals in a very constricted box that one can either tried fit into or step out. While doing the guarantees acceptance, the later give one the freedom to express their disapproval of gender bias norms in which the woman will never be at the level of the man. For example in my case I am married and my marriage is far from being traditional or “normal”. I got married not willing to give up my education and so did my husband. This meant living apart from each other for months and thus we never completely fulfilled the traditional roles of a husband or a wife. Our families have had a hard time understanding our marriage and still don’t understand it. We chose a life style that suits us I took the role of the provider while he finishes school. Even thought I am in school myself I feel that I have broken the norms of marriage and the gender roles and it feels good really good.
2B. In “Dude, You are a Fag” the author brings up gender norms that refer to men as the “breadwinner”. In other words, society expects man to be the financial caretaker of the family. He is supposed to provide financial stability in the household and while the woman is expected to care for the children and keep the household clean and the food ready. However, this is not always the case especially during this tough economy in which both man and woman are working alongside each other to keep the household financially afloat. For example, in my household I’m the financial caretaker. I work part time and go to school while my husband studies abroad. Unlike many couples in which if the man financially cares for his family my position within my family as the main caretaker this would be an issue, I personally have no problem taking the role of the provider. However, I’m aware that by, exchanging roles my husband feels dimasculine. As expected this sentiment of let down is the result of being brought up in traditional households in which the father is the main or only provider. And although, this often represents a problem for our parents and relatives, over the years they have become less judgmental of our decision to live in this form because they know that we are serious about our marriage and that by not following norms does not make it any less of a marriage.
1B. Chapter 3 In Dude You’re a Fag the author is conveys to the reader the abundance of deceitful information that is available to the public about gays which is often used by children or adolescents to belittle or harass their peers for behaving “unmanly” or for play. Even though, in middle school nor high school do I recall having heard an acquaintance referred to another peer as “fag” or “queer” I once in a while find my brother using those terms towards his friends. The few times that I’ve heard him using those words I have asked him to refrain from using them but it seems that they have become part of his and his friends vocabulary. How so? Well, they used them pretty much anytime one of them behaves effeminize or say a sentimental word like “I love you” or “I miss you”. In other words, fag for him and his teen friends have become a substitute for the word gay. And although, I find the usage of this word offensive it seems that most people I know are okay with its usage as it has become somewhat of mainstream among teens.
1B. In becoming Mr. Cougar the author conveys to the reader that a man who differs from the socially acceptable notions about how a man should behave and look by acting weak and being effeminize will never be able to compete for the same privileges as a masculine man. In other words, if a man shows any signs of weaknesses whether it be physically or mentally he will never be accepted into a chauvinistic society that places emphasizes on a well built body and manly attitude towards woman and peers. For instance, when I used to attend high school I noticed during break or lunch that students would separate into groups rather than mingle together. Upon carefully studying these groups I also noticed that the nerds would often be by themselves sitting in inhabited places or at the back of classes or absent from school activities and dances. The jocks were cocky, loud, dating the prettiest or most popular, and present at every event. The nerds probably kept to themselves because they did not look the part expected by society like the two characters in the essay. They were either too skinny or too fat and most wore glasses and clothes so old fashioned that made them at target for everyone else to make fun of. The jocks on the other hand were physically fit and confident or full of themselves which attracted many pretty girls. And like the story in real life for the nerds to get what the jocks have is for them to adhered by the social norms imposed on man which restricts them from acting effeminate.
1B. In the readings by Pascoe(Ch.1), the socially accepted and establish notion that state men as the “breadwinners” and women as the “caretakers” has being the norm for decades dating back to the twentieth century. These sexist ideas that many seize to ignore are still predominant within society and have placed individuals in a very constricted box that one can either tried fit into or step out. While doing the guarantees acceptance, the later give one the freedom to express their disapproval of gender bias norms in which the woman will never be at the level of the man. For example in my case I am married and my marriage is far from being traditional or “normal”. I got married not willing to give up my education and so did my husband. This meant living apart from each other for months and thus we never completely fulfilled the traditional roles of a husband or a wife. Our families have had a hard time understanding our marriage and still don’t understand it. We chose a life style that suits us I took the role of the provider while he finishes school. Even thought I am in school myself I feel that I have broken the norms of marriage and the gender roles and it feels good really good.
2B. In “Dude, You are a Fag” the author brings up gender norms that refer to men as the “breadwinner”. In other words, society expects man to be the financial caretaker of the family. He is supposed to provide financial stability in the household and while the woman is expected to care for the children and keep the household clean and the food ready. However, this is not always the case especially during this tough economy in which both man and woman are working alongside each other to keep the household financially afloat. For example, in my household I’m the financial caretaker. I work part time and go to school while my husband studies abroad. Unlike many couples in which if the man financially cares for his family my position within my family as the main caretaker this would be an issue, I personally have no problem taking the role of the provider. However, I’m aware that by, exchanging roles my husband feels dimasculine. As expected this sentiment of let down is the result of being brought up in traditional households in which the father is the main or only provider. And although, this often represents a problem for our parents and relatives, over the years they have become less judgmental of our decision to live in this form because they know that we are serious about our marriage and that by not following norms does not make it any less of a marriage.
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