blog 2

1b. In The Act Like a Man Box, adapted from Men’s Work and Boys Will Be Men, by Paul Kivel, the reader is made aware of the unjust set of expectations imposed on man by a predominantly sexist society. One such example is that men, unlike women, from the moment they are born until adulthood are expected to fight off their emotions, to get a well-off job, and to provide for their family. From a young age a set of ideas are imposed over generations of men who, after decades of being inculcated with stereotypes about how to act like a man, are likely to believe their imposed gender roles and act upon them. For example, at an early age my little brother was treated differently, especially when it came to showing any emotion. He was not allowed to cry or show any sign of weakness, and if he did he was ridiculed and called names.

1a. In “Patriarchy, The system: An it, Not a He, a Them, or an Us,” by Johnson, the reader is made aware of the patriarchal culture that we live in. This includes ideas of the nature of things, men and women, manhood and masculinity, and womanhood and femininity. It includes expectations of men and women imposed by society. It defines how opposite men and women are from each other by setting up gender norms, the expectations of male aggression, competition, and dominance, and female caring, cooperation, and subordination. For example, women are expected to be the caretakers, and men are expected to be the breadwinners. This to me was very interesting, especially because nowadays there are many professional women still fighting against gender expectations. For example, Kate Gosselin was criticized for spending more time with her children because of her work, but her ex-husband was never criticized for not spending anytime with his children. While he was in the public spotlight, no reporter ever questioned his fatherhood, but instead all the media was interested in knowing was who he was dating.

1b. In The Will to Change, by Hooks, on pages 5 and 6, the author explains how men’s pain goes unnoticed in society. She compares it to how hard it is for men to express their emotions in a relationship. According to hooks, the unhappiness of men in relationships or the pain of a break up is often unnoticed by society because our patriarchal culture does not care about male unhappiness. This is a common problem in relationships; many women would like their partner to be more open about what they are feeling. However, once a man is willing to talk about his feelings to his partner, many times they find themselves in a position where they a not being listened to. I seen this with my female friends who often complain of their partners’ inability to talk about what is bothering them; however, once they finally decide to speak up about what is bothering them, in many cases my friends don’t feel comfortable with listening to their feelings.

1a. In chapter 2 The Will to Change, Hooks explains the word “patriarchy” as political and social systems that render women inferior to men. In these types of systems, men are taught that they have the right to dominate over the weak (women) psychologically or through violence. She explains how these roles were imposed on her and her brother from an early age, and how our patriarchal culture determines how men and women are supposed to behave. According to the author, people are also taught “normal” gender roles through education and religion. She brought up an interesting point that women are always being taught to follow orders by their fathers, husbands, and other males, and if a woman goes against these rules she is considered hysterical. This is very outrageous because this is still something that is happening in our society as women are pressured to refrain from speaking up about the injustices that go on in our patriarchal culture.

2a. In chapter 2, The Will to Change, Hooks describes how our American patriarchal culture had a huge impact on her life. Hooks explains how she and her brother, from an early age, were taught their gender roles in society by their parents. She was taught that as a girl she could talk about her feelings and how her brother was taught to toughen up and to hide his emotions. As I read this chapter I could not stop thinking about how much of an impact this patriarchal society had on me. For example, when I got married I was told that in order for me to be a good wife I had to be obedient, nurturing, supportive, and take care of my body image. The rational was that if I did all of these things my husband would be happy and he would never leave me. As for my husband, he was expected to be a provider, protector, dominant, and aggressive. However, my marriage is far from being traditional as we have no gender roles in our marriage. I don’t expect him to be the provider and he doesn’t expect me to be the homemaker. We both believe that in order for us to function we must respect each other as individuals, without imposing gender norms that we don’t believe in.