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1b. In The Act Like a Man Box, adapted from Men’s Work and Boys Will Be Men, by Paul Kivel, the reader is made aware of the unjust set of expectations imposed on man by a predominantly sexist society. One such example is that men, unlike women, from the moment they are born until adulthood are expected to fight off their emotions, to get a well-off job, and to provide for their family. From a young age a set of ideas are imposed over generations of men who, after decades of being inculcated with stereotypes about how to act like a man, are likely to believe their imposed gender roles and act upon them. For example, at an early age my little brother was treated differently, especially when it came to showing any emotion. He was not allowed to cry or show any sign of weakness, and if he did he was ridiculed and called names.

1a. In “Patriarchy, The system: An it, Not a He, a Them, or an Us,” by Johnson, the reader is made aware of the patriarchal culture that we live in. This includes ideas of the nature of things, men and women, manhood and masculinity, and womanhood and femininity. It includes expectations of men and women imposed by society. It defines how opposite men and women are from each other by setting up gender norms, the expectations of male aggression, competition, and dominance, and female caring, cooperation, and subordination. For example, women are expected to be the caretakers, and men are expected to be the breadwinners. This to me was very interesting, especially because nowadays there are many professional women still fighting against gender expectations. For example, Kate Gosselin was criticized for spending more time with her children because of her work, but her ex-husband was never criticized for not spending anytime with his children. While he was in the public spotlight, no reporter ever questioned his fatherhood, but instead all the media was interested in knowing was who he was dating.

1b. In The Will to Change, by Hooks, on pages 5 and 6, the author explains how men’s pain goes unnoticed in society. She compares it to how hard it is for men to express their emotions in a relationship. According to hooks, the unhappiness of men in relationships or the pain of a break up is often unnoticed by society because our patriarchal culture does not care about male unhappiness. This is a common problem in relationships; many women would like their partner to be more open about what they are feeling. However, once a man is willing to talk about his feelings to his partner, many times they find themselves in a position where they a not being listened to. I seen this with my female friends who often complain of their partners’ inability to talk about what is bothering them; however, once they finally decide to speak up about what is bothering them, in many cases my friends don’t feel comfortable with listening to their feelings.

1a. In chapter 2 The Will to Change, Hooks explains the word “patriarchy” as political and social systems that render women inferior to men. In these types of systems, men are taught that they have the right to dominate over the weak (women) psychologically or through violence. She explains how these roles were imposed on her and her brother from an early age, and how our patriarchal culture determines how men and women are supposed to behave. According to the author, people are also taught “normal” gender roles through education and religion. She brought up an interesting point that women are always being taught to follow orders by their fathers, husbands, and other males, and if a woman goes against these rules she is considered hysterical. This is very outrageous because this is still something that is happening in our society as women are pressured to refrain from speaking up about the injustices that go on in our patriarchal culture.

2a. In chapter 2, The Will to Change, Hooks describes how our American patriarchal culture had a huge impact on her life. Hooks explains how she and her brother, from an early age, were taught their gender roles in society by their parents. She was taught that as a girl she could talk about her feelings and how her brother was taught to toughen up and to hide his emotions. As I read this chapter I could not stop thinking about how much of an impact this patriarchal society had on me. For example, when I got married I was told that in order for me to be a good wife I had to be obedient, nurturing, supportive, and take care of my body image. The rational was that if I did all of these things my husband would be happy and he would never leave me. As for my husband, he was expected to be a provider, protector, dominant, and aggressive. However, my marriage is far from being traditional as we have no gender roles in our marriage. I don’t expect him to be the provider and he doesn’t expect me to be the homemaker. We both believe that in order for us to function we must respect each other as individuals, without imposing gender norms that we don’t believe in.

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1c. In Queer Masculinities of a Straight Men, Heasley explained the notions of masculinity, queer, gender and hetero-normative. In this paper there is part that is a little confusing to me. The writer said that he constantly gets accused of being gay even though he is married and has children. However, he goes on to say that he has sexual desires toward men and that he kisses men on the mouth, hugs them and dances with them. This is a little confusing to me because to me it seems a little contradictory. I understand the fact that you don’t have to be specifically gay or straight, but people can choose to be both. I just don’t I agree that if you are involved in a relationship that you should be kissing people other than your partner on the mouth.

1a. Bear Bodies Bear Masculinity, by Peter Hennen, is a study that examines the resistance and conformity in hegemonic masculinity among Bears, a subculture within the gay male community. Men who identify themselves as Bears are drawn to this community in part because they perceive themselves to be larger and hairier than the stereotypical gay ideal. Bears seek to naturalize and normalize gay masculinity by striving toward “regular guy” status. While Bear culture encodes certain misogynistic tendencies, it also presents a challenge to some of the fundamental systems of belief of hegemonic masculinity. This study was quite confusing to me because I did not really understand what was it they wanted to prove. If they were already accepted in the gay community, why did they want to be treated more masculine?

1b.Sissyphobia and Everything After, by Tim Bergling, is a study that the author did in order to find out more about effeminate men. This was of particular interest to him since his son was gay and he wanted to understand his son better. So he did the study to get answers about why gay men act so effeminate, but in the end found out that there were no right answers for it. As I read this study I could not stop thinking of my best friend. He is gay and does not like to be thought of as effeminate. He does not like to show he is gay, but wants to be treated as a heterosexual man.
2b. In Sissyphobia and Everything After, Bergling brought up an interesting point that as soon as we know that someone is gay we assume they are going to behave like women. Somehow this makes gay men less manly in our minds. My friend who is gay does not like to be seen as effeminate, because to him being gay does not mean to act more like a women. He knows that he is still a man, with the exception that he has a sexual desire towards other men. I also believe that he is more hesitant about behaving effeminate because of the fact that he has not told his family about his homosexuality. He is still trying to disguise his homosexuality out of fear of not being accepted by his family and society.

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1a. In chapter 7, titled “feminist manhood,” Hooks explains that men see feminists as male bashers. Many men feel threatened by feminists because they feel that strong women threaten their manhood. This is far from the truth; on the contrary, what many feminists want is to be treated with the same respect and equality that any man would expect for himself. However, it is easy for males to criticize the feminist movement because of the difficulty men with respect to identifying with the feminist agenda. Although they may be able to sympathize, men will never really understand what women want from themselves. Males, specifically heterosexual White males, have never had to fight for their rights since they are the ones that set the standard of what rights are to be afforded and to whom. Women on the other hand have had to fight for their equality and the right to pursuit happiness. I believe that the feminist movement’s goal to gain equality is still relevant today as many women are still paid less than men and are frequently the victims of domestic and sexual abuse. If more men actually try to be part of the solution instead of continuing to be part of the problem, maybe then more women would stop demanding what men take for granted.
1a. In "Loving Men (chapter 11)," Hooks claims that women want men to be more in touch with their emotions. Men that are more conscious of their feelings towards women tend to be better partners. I think this has a lot to do with personality, upbringing, and family structure. Perhaps the problem of not having contact with one’s own emotions could be caused, among other things, by the lack of a father figure in the home. One thing I noticed when I used to work with troubled youth was that most of the young boys I work with lack a father figure. Many of these boys have no male role models to teach them how to talk and treat women, nor how to define and express their emotions. Ironically, many of these boys were raise by women, and even though they respected their mothers, they didn’t always respect other women.
1a. In chapter 13, titled “more than a few good men,” Katz explains that not all men justify domestic violence and sexual abuse against women. He acknowledges that there are men that also seek the wellbeing of women. Some men do so through organizations which protect women’s rights around the world. These organizations provide assistance for sexual abuse and battered women that have experienced the misfortune of being in a relationship with an aggressive male. These organizations are trying to reverse the damage that some men have caused. A quote that I found very interesting by Nelson Mandela reads “from today those who inflict violence on others will know they are being isolated and cannot count on other men to protect them.” This quote is very interesting because it puts the responsibility squarely on men to not protect those who inflict violence on women. If more men took responsibility for the actions of their male counterparts, I believe that there would be less violence committed against women.
1b. In “A new vision to masculinity,” Cooper defines masculinity as competitive, thought, and aggressive. He explains that many men have to prove their manliness to society by not showing weakness, incompetence, or passiveness. He makes an interesting point that society encourages men to be violent by harassing them with homophobic remarks, and the only way for them to prove their masculinity is by fighting or hurting another person. I agree with Cooper’s assessment because I have seen this type of behavior in a family friend. Every time he gathers with his friends he has to prove how masculine he is. He begins by ridiculing the men around him that are easy to pick on by calling them “fags” as a way to establish a “manly” position among them
2a. In chapter 11, which the author titled “loving men,” Hooks explains how women want men to be “emotionally aware.” Just by reading this chapter I could not stop thinking about my sister’s husband and his upbringing, which made him a bit aggressive. He was raised in a town where violence was prevalent, and he also lacked positive male guidance from since his father was never home. He opted for the guidance of older, troubled men in his neighborhood, which induced a negative impact on his ability to openly express his emotions. Early in their marriage when they had problems, he would not express what was bothering him. At other times, he became so enraged that it was impossible to find middle ground with him. Luckily, they sought help and improved the quality of their relationship and found solutions to his behavioral patterns.